New Game: “Asshole you hate the most”

I propose we begin a new game.  It will go like this.  Name the asshole in the world you hate the most and give the reason why.  I will go first.  Idaho big-game hunter Jim Martell.  My reasoning?  Here you go:

The first polar-grizzly bear has been discovered.  This might sound neat at first, but it is quite distressing when you think about it.  It means that grizzlies are being pushed into polar territory.  Grizzlies are endangered now.  Polar bears are not currently considered endangered but they are the first to suffer as the ice cap melts– and everyone but the leader of the free fucking world agrees that the ice cap is melting.  So basically we have two endangered species that are so threatened that they are mating.  And then we need to consider that as they inter-breed their DNA gets watered-down…oy.  This is not good. 

Now let’s look at how we know about this bear.  We know about it becuase it was killed by a sadistic fucker from Idaho with a tiny, tiny penis (hmm, do you think he is a rich Republican who drives a hummer?) who paid a native guide to take him hunting for a polar bear.  Apparently in Canada you can pay 45,000 fucking dollars to kill a beautiful, majestic, near-endangered animal on its own turf.


And if France jumped off a cliff, would you jump too?

One of the Bush Administration’s favourite talking points on the Iraq debacle is: sure, we were wrong about WMDs. But most people thought Iraq had WMD’s too. Even France thought Saddam had WMDs!

So that’s ok, then.

Of course, what they don’t point out is that there was plenty of evidence to the contrary before the war, but their arguments weren’t heard over the selection of pro-WMD arguments. This Kevin Drum piece explains it more eloquently than I can — read it. (via TPM)


That’s the headline from Dateline: Hollywood. Can we “take him out?” Oh, I’m not suggesting we assisinate him. Really. But on the other hand, WTF?!?!?!

Pat Robertson on Sunday said that Hurricane Katrina was God’s way of expressing its anger at the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences for its selection of Ellen Degeneres to host this year’s Emmy Awards. “By choosing an avowed lesbian for this national event, these Hollywood elites have clearly invited God’s wrath,” Robertson said on “The 700 Club” on Sunday. “Is it any surprise that the Almighty chose to strike at Miss Degeneres’ hometown?”

Robertson also noted that the last time Degeneres hosted the Emmys, in 2001, the September 11 terrorism attacks took place shortly before the ceremony.

“This is the second time in a row that God has invoked a disaster shortly before lesbian Ellen Degeneres hosted the Emmy Awards,” Robertson explained to his approximately one million viewers. “America is waiting for her to apologize for the death and destruction that her sexual deviance has brought onto this great nation.”

Maybe if we built a big altar and sacrificed Ellen on it, her blood would turn into butterflies of solid gold and we could pay off the national debt! Maybe if we burned the Fab Five at the stake their ashes would turn into magical sponges that would soak up all the water in New Orleans and scrub it clean! Maybe if reasonable Christians don’t stand up and offer Roberts a nice warm glass of shut the fuck up, I will never again be able to walk through the door of a church!

In Robertson’s world, curses and miracles and magical spells have replaced the Christ of the Golden Rule and the Beatitudes. He is a sick and sad embarrasment not just to Christians, but to all America. To the human race. And as one of America’s top evangelists, he’s clearly a failure– look at all the sin that has happened on his watch. Maybe God will strike him down! Oh what a happy day that will be.

Roberts and the sound of wingnut brains exploding

The editor of WingNutDaily is not amused:

John Roberts still has most conservatives buffaloed.

They just can’t believe George W. Bush would betray them so boldly.

But he has.

Even I, the ultimate skeptic, am just beginning to fathom the extent of the shell game that has been played on conservatives – most of whom are actively working on behalf of the confirmation of a new chief justice of the U.S. Supreme Court who will make Ruth Bader Ginsberg look like a moderate.

That’s right.

Up until now, I’ve been comparing Roberts to Sandra Day O’Connor, Anthony Kennedy and David Souter. I’ve got news for you. He’s worse.
“Putting politics aside, the current court member Roberts most resembles is Stephen Breyer. Roberts is far more intellectual than Rehnquist, far more politic than Scalia, and – as noted above – far less extreme than Thomas.”

Stephen Breyer. That’s who Roberts most resembles, according to his friend.

Roberts is a Washington establishment operative who has been fooling conservatives for much of his life.

In 1981, he worked hand in glove with his good friend Kenneth Starr, another shill for the establishment, to fool President Reagan and the American people into thinking Sandra Day O’Connor was a “conservative,” Reagan Republican. He was a plotter, a co-conspirator, a devious manipulator, a spinner.

Ha ha ha. Ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha HA!

Bush does not really care about the theocratic ideology of the extreme right because frankly he doesn’t really have to. Bush was installed by and is beholden to big business and their K Street lobbyists, who live by the Coolidge Doctrine: “The business of America is business.” Not religion. The kowtowing to the extremists is just a handy tactic from the Rove playbook, and a way to ensure that issues get framed in a thoroughly Right way. And really, what are the wingers going to do–vote Democratic?

So the thumpers and theocrats get screwed, badly. But hey, they’re married to him so the Lord don’t mind. But of course they themselves hate it. They thought the Rove reacharound would take them all the way to heaven–but just like Dobson’s wife, they right wing is always left hot, bothered and fundamentally unsatisfied every time the GOP establishment uses them to get their low-tax rocks off. It’s not healthy for our society to sit by and watch this sad co-dependent relationship–but it’s better than the alternative of watching the theocrats get to take the master’s whip to enact the sadistic scene that is their ultimate fantasy. [That’s not just a metaphor–think about how much they loved Mel Gibson’s snuff film!]

This betrayal could not have happened to a more deserving bunch of people, nor could they have had more warning that Bush was quite literally born and bred to play Judas in their twisted little morality play. I mean really–his accent is what real Texans call “all hat and no cattle.” He’s a Connecticut Yankee who went to Andover and Yale. So he talked to Billy Graham during his coke withdrawal–that doesn’t make him a devout evangelical any more than eating matzoh once and a while makes me a Jew.

Bush worships only at the twin altar of a “healthy bidness climate” and military might. Of course he suffers from the delusion that he’s the Second Coming of Reagan, so neither of these tenets of faith have fared too well under his incompetent watch. The economy is in shambles [unless you’re Paris Hilton] and allies and enemies alike can see that America’s military, spread dangerously thing, is being held together with duct tape and bailing wire.

We liberals, progressives and members of the reality-based community need to laugh at them, long and hard– not to gloat, but because it’s the proper response to magical-thinking theocrats who hate the Constitution so much they want it treated like a taxidermied curiosity instead of a dynamic living document. When we laughed at the for the 50 years after the Scopes Monkey Trial they stayed in their churches, attended Bob Jones University and were kept safely outside the mainstream they so want to destroy.

So again– Ha ha ha. Ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha HA! Oh, and, nanny nanny boo boo. Seriously. I assert that this is not a juvenile response, but rather how one properly deals with those who have the mentality of chidren. The wingers like to treat the Left like children, but their “talking points” are nothing more than schoolyard taunts. This is a moment for the left to stand proudly and say “I’m rubber and you’re glue”–and then go back to the serious business of winning the playground back.

I surmise that the Bush I-era Roberts documents the administration squelched are [like that administration] much more moderate than his Reagan-era writings. Roberts could yet prove to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing. But having listened to much of today’s hearings, I think the Republic has dodged a bullet. I don’t know exactly how or why, but Bush seems to have nominated someone we can live with.

Live with, if not love… I think we can expect more Casey-esque tinkering around the edges of the “Roe Framework” but no assault on its “central holding.” But he answered the questions about Right to Privacy in a very straightforward manner.

The real battle will be around O’Connor’s replacement… with the far-right enraged, it will be a fight. Especially if we have to fight Torturer-General Gonzales or any of several far right females. But even Gonzales, for all of his love of genital electrodes, is not a rabid right-winger.

Of course there’s also a more immediate political benefit– Roberts’ now-apparent moderation will hurt the president’s approval numbers among his base even more. Could he drop below 30%? It seems imminently possible.

George Bush doesn’t care about black people

Ah, I have a new favorite celebrity…for those of you who haven’t heard, Kanye West launched into this on live TV during the NBC fundraiser for Katrina victims:

West: I hate the way they portray us in the media. You see a black family, it says, “They’re looting.” You see a white family, it says, “They’re looking for food.” And, you know, it’s been five days [waiting for federal help] because most of the people are black. And even for me to complain about it, I would be a hypocrite because I’ve tried to turn away from the TV because it’s too hard to watch. I’ve even been shopping before even giving a donation, so now I’m calling my business manager right now to see what is the biggest amount I can give, and just to imagine if I was down there, and those are my people down there. So anybody out there that wants to do anything that we can help — with the way America is set up to help the poor, the black people, the less well-off, as slow as possible. I mean, the Red Cross is doing everything they can. We already realize a lot of people that could help are at war right now, fighting another way — and they’ve given them permission to go down and shoot us!

(West throws back to Myers, who is looking like a guy who stopped on the tarmac to tie his shoe and got hit in the back with the 8:30 to La Guardia.)

Myers: And subtle, but in many ways even more profoundly devastating, is the lasting damage to the survivors’ will to rebuild and remain in the area. The destruction of the spirit of the people of southern Louisiana and Mississippi may end up being the most tragic loss of all.

(And, because Myers is apparently as dumb as his Alfalfa hair, he throws it back to West.)

West: George Bush doesn’t care about black people!

(Back to Myers, now looking like the 8:30 to La Guardia turned around and caught him square between the eyes.)

Ah, the martyrs

I’m a Christian. As such, I’ve read the Bible. I seem to remember the parts where Christians were persecuted as having lions. And whippings. And murders. Whenever I read things like this, I feel like the true martyrs of my faith are being insulted. And I wonder where I can get me some lions–because last time I checked, it’s us fags who are getting beaten and murdered, not the Christians.

History warns us that when large religious groups start imagining themselves to be oppressed by a pernicious and cunning minority, bad things can happen. So it was with a growing sourness in my stomach that I watched the luminaries of the Christian right take the stage at a Tennessee “megachurch” Sunday evening for “Justice Sunday II.”

The ostensible purpose of the gathering (which I watched via webcast) was to muster support for the Bush administration’s judicial appointees — especially but not exclusively Supreme Court nominee John Roberts. But as speaker after speaker hammered on the theme of oppression of Christians by a shadowy liberal establishment, it became clear that, like many of the sermons, books, and articles written by leaders of the Christian right, the real purpose of “Justice Sunday II” was to reinforce a sense of victimhood among the broadest possible swath of American Christians.

Read the whole piece, cue the ominous music.


I could be rude and call this hilarious and maybe-not-safe-for-work videomontage a portrait of George Bush’s America but actually it’s… no, let’s just go ahead and call it that. Enjoy!

Damn you, liberal media eyeshadow colorizers!

I almost put a picture of Katherine Harris in this post, but I just didn’t have the heart. But seriously, read this. Yeah, that’s the problem. As Jesse put it, “Stop doing your makeup over a barbeque pit, and maybe people will stop commenting on it.”

But the award for the Replican Woman with the Most to Blame Photographers For (and the award for Just Barely Elected in an Embarrassingly Close Race in a “Safe Republican District,”) goes to Jean Schmidt. Damn you photojournalists with your Skeletor filters!