As Christians everywhere get geared up for the holiest day of the year, I always find myself pondering the age old question: When Jesus comes out of the cave and sees his shadow, why are there 6 more months of winter?
Oh hell, I don’t know. Go have fun and make a chocolate Jesus Bunny!
As I step closer to being 29 (*wink* in days my little cupcakes) I ponder the idea of my face only in order to help my elder little cupcakes. Now don’t get me wrong, I, CC Royale, do not look a day over 18! But one must prepare for the impending doom of the ‘later years’. So once again I went on a quest for the answers…ooh what great wisdom do you think I could find? Well the Dali Lama’s advice was for poo poo, the Pope just waved…me away, and my dear old friend, Betty Crooker…well the old hag is dead so what good is she.
So a quest on my own dear self, I set out. During my journey a great flash of light went streaking across my face…What would HELL would Linda Evans do? WWLED? That old has-been is at least three times older then Miss CC Royale….Thank god for Linda Evans! At last I can rest and relax my tired old face…until next time, sweet cupcakes!
With all the anger in the world it is not surprising that Barbie, of all people, has taken up the fight! GI Joe better watch his back or Barbie is blowing up that pack back mess tent that he’s been toting around Iraq. And Malibu Ken just better mind his p’s and q’s while doing missionary work over in Palestine, because Suicide Bomber Barbie is a raging homicidal bitch!
Since I love themes, and last week I brought to light the topic of my cleaning outfits, I thought that I would start a theme. Today: COOKING. Do you ever get frustrated in the kitchen? Does your Caesar turn fishy? Does that Crème Brulee burn instead of turning a golden brown? And God knows I hate it when the Tofurky turns to rubber!
Well, instead of kicking the dog, or pushing your mother down a flight of stairs, I have found the perfect answer to the end of Kitchen Frustration!
My heart is bleeding right now. This has to be the blackest day since Tom Ford left Gucci….how will I go on…aaahhh the pain, the pain.
You know, there are just some days where cleaning my house is just a complete bore! Sometimes I like to pretend I am someone else cleaning so it doesn’t seem so overwhelming. This can included many various disguises: wigs, pink fuzzy bathrobes, French maids outfits and even cha-cha heels. But I must admit all of this has become very lack luster for me. So I have sent myself out on a search for my new Cleaning Ensemble!
At first I thought, Star Trek! Beam my Dust up, Scottie…..no that doesn’t work! Then I thought, Jungle Book Cleaning Day, swinging from the chandeliers naked as a jay bird….no, those lights would come ripping out off the ceiling and how do I explain that to Mike when he gets home. Maybe an Oprah Cleaning Day, where I sit my fat ass on the couch, flip my hair around and talk to my friends about very private issues in front of millions of people….no, I have no friends with private issues.
And then I found it! Thumping music, Snow Ball disco lights, and free beer from the Frig! With this new top, and a pair of terry cloth hot-pants (for dusting of course), who the hell would care about the dust!!! WHHHAAA-hooooooo! Disco Dusting here I come!
Well today is the day where, traditionally, we spread the love of VD!
Ok, did you know that St. Valentine’s day is no longer a official Catholic Holiday? And hasn’t been since 1969 (Damn Vatican II)? Did you know that the Catholic church doesn’t even really know who or what St. Valentine was? Did you know that St. Valentine’s Day is actually based on a Roman festival, Lupercalia, where men drew women’s names out of a hat and got to shack up with the chick for the rest of the year! But I guess some Pope did not like that idea, so he changed it around to meet the Church’s needs…go figure!
I am not sure if this has been on the blog before, if so, well just go do it again.
It’s a face transformer that will let you change your ethnic make-up…..
I am spending way too much time with this!!!
So I guess when it gets too expensive to do business in one state, go to the next, right? Oregon McDonalds (and some in Eastern Washington) are now outsourcing to other states. So when you drive up to the order window you order is taken via the phone line some 1500 miles away in North Dakota, a photo is taken and all the information is sent back to that location and your order processed?
Why, you might ask? The minimum wage in Oregon is $7.50 while the minimum wage in North Dakota is only $5.15.
Is McDonalds not making enough money off their Mad Cow Burgers that they need to rape employees now?
Food for Thought!
Are We Stingy? Yes
Published: December 30, 2004
President Bush finally roused himself yesterday from his vacation in Crawford, Tex., to telephone his sympathy to the leaders of India, Sri Lanka, Thailand and Indonesia, and to speak publicly about the devastation of Sunday’s tsunamis in Asia. He also hurried to put as much distance as possible between himself and America’s initial measly aid offer of $15 million, and he took issue with an earlier statement by the United Nations’ emergency relief coordinator, Jan Egeland, who had called the overall aid efforts by rich Western nations “stingy.” “The person who made that statement was very misguided and ill informed,” the president said.
According to the Washington Post: “Bush’s first inauguration cost about $40 million. President Bill Clinton’s second inauguration cost $29.6 million.”
And then you look at the money that was donated after the attacks of Sept. 11th!
How embarressed am i for being an american right now? Have we become a nation that is so empathetic and self-serving that we find it more important to spend money on a presidential ceramony and not on human life?
Continue reading “Stingy Bastards”