God is Real, and on Line Two

If I’d read this in the New York Times instead of The Onion I could easily believe it to be true.

Voice Of God Revealed To Be Cheney On Intercom

WASHINGTON, DC—Telephone logs recorded by the National Security Agency and obtained by Congress as part of an ongoing investigation suggest that the vice president may have used the Oval Office intercom system to address President Bush at crucial moments, giving categorical directives in a voice the president believed to be that of God.

For many, the revelation explains Bush’s confusion in the wake of Hurricane Katrina.

“I was very surprised by the president’s slow response in New Orleans,” political commentator Bill Kristol said. “The president told me that he was praying every day in his office, but had received no reply. I had no idea what he meant, but of course, it all makes sense now.”

At the time of Katrina, Cheney was on a fly-fishing trip, from which he returned on Sept. 1.

1 thought on “God is Real, and on Line Two”

  1. That’s a lot like the final twist of one of my favorite ’80s movies, “Real Genius,” where Val Kilmer wires the evil geek’s braces to make him think God is telling him to sabotage his boss’s space laser. Well, sort of like that anyway 🙂

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