I had thought the best thing about the Dads’ vacation in Maui was getting spoiled by Aunt Paulette. (That woman can give a belly-rub like nobody’s business!) But no– as you all know, the Dads are getting married.
As a dog, I have always found human politics a little confusing– we find butt-sniffing and pack behavior so successful that we’ve never found the need for elections and political parties. Needless to say, I’m completely confused by the Christian Coalition and why they think the Dads shouldn’t get married.
Luckily for us, there’s Canada. Much like us dogs, the Canadians are humble, loyal, and above all socially tolerant. So while they should really be able to just get married here, and talk a lot about something called “tax benefits” they would get if they could, it’s all going to work out fine. Canada also has something called a “favorable exchange rate,” which based on context clues I’m guessing is almost as good as a Paulette belly-rub.
But the taller Dad had not taken the time to look up all the details of this– I heard him twice unable to answer basic questions about what marriage in Canada entails. Well, Tall Dad, here’s all the information: Getting Married in Canada. Apparently you two are going to have to decide if you want a civil or religious ceremony. I’ve also heard you talking a lot about where to have the wedding. I don’t care about either of these things, as long as you have it somewhere they like dogs. Because this is a big day for me: I may still be a dog, and will always be a bit of runt, but soon nobody will be able to call me a bastard. And amen to that.