Just when you thought consumer product companies couldn’t get any weirder than the animated grannies who quilt every square of Quilted Northern toilet tissue, now we discover that Snuggle fabric softener’s mascot teddy bear Snuggle is getting a makeover
I can’t make shit like this up. Stuart Elliott manages to report on it with an (almost) straight face. “With a blissful demeanor, squeaky voice and high-pitch giggle, Snuggle, the longtime spokescreature for the Snuggle brand of fabric softener, used to behave like a Care Bear. Now cuddly Snuggle is getting an image update, becoming a devil-may-care bear, complete with sunglasses à la Tom Cruise, dates with models and knowing winks to the audience. What next? Mr. Peanut pitching Viagra?”
OK. So not so much of a straight face.
“We’re making the bear a little more smooth, a little more suave, a little more smart, a little more hip,” says the agency guy I hope I never sound like.
Lest you think this is too sudden a shift for the little bear: Snuggle envy. For the record, the idea of a grown man talking about the “Snuggle touch” makes me never want to have children, or at least give my children any teddy bears. Eww.