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March 17, 2005

I vant to be (left) alone

Are women to be allowed no right to privacy? It seems that once we begin our menses, our bodies are no longer ours but somehow the collective property of the arbiters of "right." Once more government is attempting to invade the medical privacy of women.

This is a particularly twisted use of their power. The AG of Indiana is asserting that they are seeking proof of child abuse by seizing the records of girls 13 and under from local Planned Parenthood offices. While I applaud efforts to ensure the safety of their state's children, it seems to me that there are much more effective ways to do this than seizing medical records.

For example, the State of Indiana could add budget and personnel to the Child Protective Services office and to their juvenile courts. They could put together a statewide task force that visits schools to inform students and parents about the laws and offer counseling services for students that wish to come forward as well as training teachers and school officials in how to spot and counsel abused children.

And what about the boys? Are boys to be left out of this new push to ensure the safety of children? How does seizing the private medical records of girls who voluntarily sought medical care from Planned Parenthood protect male children at risk?

This is yet one more fishing expedition by a state AG (see KS, PA and MS) in the anti-choice attack on women's productive rights.

March 11, 2005


As I step closer to being 29 (*wink* in days my little cupcakes) I ponder the idea of my face only in order to help my elder little cupcakes. Now don’t get me wrong, I, CC Royale, do not look a day over 18! But one must prepare for the impending doom of the ‘later years’. So once again I went on a quest for the answers…ooh what great wisdom do you think I could find? Well the Dali Lama’s advice was for poo poo, the Pope just waved…me away, and my dear old friend, Betty Crooker…well the old hag is dead so what good is she.

So a quest on my own dear self, I set out. During my journey a great flash of light went streaking across my face…What would HELL would Linda Evans do? WWLED? That old has-been is at least three times older then Miss CC Royale….Thank god for Linda Evans! At last I can rest and relax my tired old face…until next time, sweet cupcakes!

March 02, 2005

Barbie - The Bitch has Everything

With all the anger in the world it is not surprising that Barbie, of all people, has taken up the fight! GI Joe better watch his back or Barbie is blowing up that pack back mess tent that he’s been toting around Iraq. And Malibu Ken just better mind his p’s and q’s while doing missionary work over in Palestine, because Suicide Bomber Barbie is a raging homicidal bitch!

February 28, 2005

"News from the war on women"

First draft has a post you have to read. With a strong drink in hand. And a blank check to NARAL.

February 20, 2005

More bad science

The terrible inaccuracies in the government approved sex education programs are, tragically, old news already. But wait, there's more! If that bad information fails you, you end up pregnant and then, heaven help you, you end up wanting to end your government mandated pregnancy, you're in for more bad news.

In several states, women considering abortion are given government-issued brochures warning that the procedure could increase their chance of developing breast cancer, despite scientific findings to the contrary.

(In an unfortunate bit of freaky related news, Norma McCovey - that's Jane Roe to the rest of us - has asked the Supreme Court to overthrow Roe vs. Wade.)

Women should have the right to accurate information about their health and well being, especially when it comes to something as life altering as child-bearing. Bullying women into having a baby through disinformation and fear is dishonest and thuggish and shameful.

Do I think abortion is wrong? None of your damn business. Do I think that handing out intentionally inaccuarate information in an attempt to influence your decision about abortion is wrong? You bet your ass I do.

This story infuriates me.

February 18, 2005

Dust Bunnies and Disco Lights

You know, there are just some days where cleaning my house is just a complete bore! Sometimes I like to pretend I am someone else cleaning so it doesn’t seem so overwhelming. This can included many various disguises: wigs, pink fuzzy bathrobes, French maids outfits and even cha-cha heels. But I must admit all of this has become very lack luster for me. So I have sent myself out on a search for my new Cleaning Ensemble!
At first I thought, Star Trek! Beam my Dust up, Scottie… that doesn’t work! Then I thought, Jungle Book Cleaning Day, swinging from the chandeliers naked as a jay bird….no, those lights would come ripping out off the ceiling and how do I explain that to Mike when he gets home. Maybe an Oprah Cleaning Day, where I sit my fat ass on the couch, flip my hair around and talk to my friends about very private issues in front of millions of people….no, I have no friends with private issues.

And then I found it! Thumping music, Snow Ball disco lights, and free beer from the Frig! With this new top, and a pair of terry cloth hot-pants (for dusting of course), who the hell would care about the dust!!! WHHHAAA-hooooooo! Disco Dusting here I come!

January 18, 2005

Math is hard!

First Barbie, now the President of Harvard: Women Lack 'Natural Ability' In Some Fields, Harvard President Says

The president of Harvard University prompted criticism for suggesting that innate differences between the sexes could help explain why fewer women succeed in science and math careers.

This guy is such an ass. His gross insensitivity caused most of the Af-Am department to leave en masse for Princeton a few years back. When will Harvard have finally had enough?

January 14, 2005


Is June Cleaver the American female ideal? Do hetero men really want a woman whose sole reason for existence is to take care of her man and his needs? I don’t want to believe it but I am afraid that it might be true.

As Maureen Dowd (in her 1/13/05 NYT editorial) describes:

“A new study by psychology researchers at the University of Michigan, using college undergraduates, suggests that men going for long-term relationships would rather marry women in subordinate jobs than women who are supervisors.

As Dr. Stephanie Brown, the lead author of the study summed it up for reporters: "Powerful women are at a disadvantage in the marriage market because men may prefer to marry less-accomplished women." Men think that women with important jobs are more likely to cheat on them.

"The hypothesis," Dr. Brown said, "is that there are evolutionary pressures on males to take steps to minimize the risk of raising offspring that are not their own." Women, by contrast, did not show a marked difference in their attraction to men who might work above or below them. And men did not show a preference when it came to one-night stands.

A second study, which was by researchers at four British universities and reported last week, suggested that smart men with demanding jobs would rather have old-fashioned wives, like their mums, than equals. The study found that a high I.Q. hampers a woman's chance to get married, while it is a plus for men. The prospect for marriage increased by 35 percent for guys for each 16-point increase in I.Q.; for women, there is a 40 percent drop for each 16-point rise.

So was the feminist movement some sort of cruel hoax? The more women achieve the less desirable they are? Women want to be in a relationship with guys they can seriously talk to - unfortunately, a lot of those guys want to be in relationships with women they don't have to talk to.”

First of all, this worry that, women in powerful positions cheat on their mates; where does that come from? Is it because men in positions of power are more likely to cheat and are projecting this on women or is there some basis in fact? Cuz, honey, I can tell you there is only one way to ensure that your woman isn’t cheating and that is to treat her well at home. Are smart women more demanding in the bedroom? Do we cause performance anxiety? Get a book or get over it, but by all means get better.

I would hate to think that in the end we are not making emotional and intellectual connections with our mates but are only responding to genetic coding. Worse still is the idea that some women actually hold themselves and their potential in check so they remain attractive to the men their self-esteem says they are worthy of. I suppose this would be OK if every woman would just set her sights on the wealthiest and most powerful men in the world then perhaps we will end up running it, instead of marrying for it.

The only cruel hoax here is the one women play on themselves, when they settle for less in a relationship because they are afraid. Modern science and adoption lawyers have proven you don’t have to be a couple to have children, if that is what you are afraid of. If you don’t want to be alone, you don’t have to be. There are plenty of ways to bring companionship into your life. And if it’s sex you’re looking for, apparently hetero men don’t have a preference as long as it’s just sex. So, break out of the socially imposed role and live for yourself first. If you are lucky to find a mate that is up to your challenge, congratulations. If not, ask for their medical history and be sure to use a condom!

December 30, 2004

All in the Bag!!

OK, I am completely in a jealous rage this morning!! Until I got TIVO (OK, DVR but you get the idea) I didn’t get the whole hype…but now I do! And then there is NetFlicks, and I thought who cares I don’t watch that many movies anyway. And if I wanted beer or wine delivered to the house once a month, I would just go to the store: who can wait for mail delivery when you're thirsty?

BUT TODAY!!!?? I find out that not only can women get brand new designer bags delivered to the house, but they can change them as often as they change their minds (hehehe)….and I am one jealous Bee-Atch right now!

Forget Barbie, CC Royale is going to look great this season!

December 22, 2004

What do Washington State and the Ukraine have in common?

They're both still getting out from under their elections! Okay, Washington State has no seedy poisoning accusations, but still.

I was stunned to see in the WaPo this morning that the spread has narrowed to ten votes - in Gregoire's favor!

I'll say it again: I never liked Christine Gregoire for governor. I thought she was in denial about the state of Washington's badly overdrawn infrastructure. I thought her stand against a state income tax while saying nothing against the regressive taxes that keep showing up on our ballots was short-sighted and pandering. And for no logical reason, it really got up my nose that she chose to market herself as 'Chris' Gregoire. What, we don't know she's a she? My vote was absolutely a vote against Dino Rossi.

But wow, what a lot of backbone Ms. Gregoire has shown in this race. I have nothing but respect for her tenacity. I don't know what's driving her, but I'm awe-struck by how much of it she seems to have.

"This wasn't about who wins the race," Gregoire said after the court ruling. "It's about protecting these voters' sacred right to have their legitimate votes counted." Hallelujah.

Ten votes. Never say your vote doesn't matter. Never.

November 23, 2004

Stockpiling, Redux

Just the other day I suggested that the fine women of Illinois might want to start stowing away those contraceptives in anticipation of the encroaching theocracy. Now it seems the "fairer sex" in Texas and Louisiana might also ponder following the newly issued Bunker Stocking List, 2004 Version.

In Texas: In military jargon, lawmaker and Marine Reserve Col. Frank Corte Jr. says he wants Texas pharmacists to be able to claim "conscientious objector" status.

But his proposal would not exempt druggists from going to battle — it would let them refuse to fill prescriptions that go against their moral principles.

Corte, a seven-term Republican state representative from San Antonio, has pre-filed a bill for the coming legislative session that would amend an existing law that allows doctors, nurses and hospital staffers to opt out of performing abortions.

The bill specifically refers to prescriptions for the so-called "morning-after" pill, but Corte acknowledges its language could be interpreted to include any prescription contraceptive.

And in Louisiana: After Idalia and Jose Moran's son was born by C-section, Idalia Moran's doctor advised her not to get pregnant again for two to three years, and prescribed the pill.

But as CBS News correspondent Byron Pitts reports, when she went to the pharmacy, the cashier said, "You know what? I cannot refill them because the pharmacist says it's against his religion because it's abortion."

Birth control fits nicely on the shelf next to your books by Darwin and that tear-smudged copy of the US Constitution.

By the way, The Handmaid's Tale makes great bunker reading.

November 19, 2004

Emergency Rations

Along with canned goods, bottled water, and first aid kits, it looks like the ladies of the federal government might want to add contraception to the list of things they're stockpiling in the bunker.

On Sept. 13, OPM officials announced the launch of a faith-based health insurance program for federal workers in Illinois. Operated by OSF Health, which is run by the Sisters of the Third Order of St. Francis, the plan specifically will prohibit payment for contraceptives, abortions, sterilization or artificial insemination.

Call me crazy, but if you don't "believe" in those things, wouldn't you avoid participating in them? Do insurance companies get to legislate your faith-based medical choices? Why is it that organizations that insist on not paying for abortion also insist on not paying for contraception?

"This is, in effect, a kind of backdoor way to try to limit this [coverage] down the road, to try to get family planning services out of the program" Martinez said. "You shouldn't be designing government health programs based on religious doctrine."

I'm a watchdog over precendent these days, and establishing a plan like this as a "choice" means that it's okay for insurance providers to establish faith-based exclusions. Combine this with the FDA eyeballing RU-486, and new justices soon to be on the bench, and we're looking at the bad old days all over again.

The ACLU and Planned Parenthood are two good places to send money right about now.

July 31, 2004

Isn't Kerry a Catholic?

Catholicism has always been hugely confusing for me. Apparently you're not supposed to worship false idols, but it's okay to embrace edicts from an organization that claims they've got the red phone to (G)od. There's all that incredible iconography and breathtaking contributions to art. There's the ceremony, all that baroque splendor. And the heirarchy. And the costumes. I guess it would be easy to be attracted to the opulence of Cathlolicism, but the politics of it are totally beyond me.

Plenty of perfectly fine people are Catholics, but I can not help wonder how they can continue to particpate in a church that speaks out against birth control, divorce, homosexuality, and now, of all things, feminism.

This doesn't appear to be the work of the usual radical crazy clergy and it has the endorsement of the Pope. I'm not a religious person and I would never try to coax anyone away from their faith - no more than I would try to convince anyone to adopt mine, but honestly, I don't get it. Is there a Catholic rebellion going on some where that I don't know about? I would like to hear about it. Can anyone explain this?

June 07, 2004

50 Camels

I was feeling a little better about women's rights after the San Francisco courts overturned the late term abortion ban, but I was being naiive. It was a brief moment of hopefulness in an otherwise bleak landscape.

But now, I can't get this story out of my mind. Here's the part that's sticking to me:

The woman's family demanded 50 camels, which is the traditional Somali compensation offered for the death of a woman.

The woman's family say she is as good as dead because she can no longer bear children.

This story makes it so I can't stop thinking about Margaret Atwood's Handmaid's Tale. Plus, and don't mistake me for thinking this makes it any better, I forget sometimes that here in the US, we don't have it nearly as bad as our sisters in other places in the world where they're able to put an actual price on a woman's fertility.

Still, I guess it's only a matter of time before we get taxed for not bearing children. Oh, wait. Never mind. I'd better just go back to being rambling and angry offline.

April 29, 2004

Mean Girls

OK, OK, I know this doesn't really belong in this category... but. Everyone made fun of me Sunday at Paulette's for wanting to see "Mean Girls." Well, hello?! SNL's peerless (and sexy) Tina Fey wrote the screenplay. If it's half as good as her work on Weekend Update, it will be well worth the ticket price. She's one of the smartest, sassiest comedians out there, with a very wise feminist slant... maybe if more people paid attention to the politics of high school women wouldn't get to college thinking feminism is a dirty word. It's based on a well-reviewed nonfiction book titled "Queen Bees & Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends and Other Realities of Adolescence."

How do you solve a problem like Maria?

Maria's income disparity, that is. Or her lack of access to the best healthcare? Or her desire to have enough information to make informed choices about her reproductive health options?

You pretend those issues don't exist.

April 28, 2004

This one's for the ladies

We've been a bit obsessed of late about the fate of the gay boys (and girls) but Pam wisely pointed out that the whole female half of the country (and world) have plenty to worry about too. In the jeering voice of Gwen Stefani, and the interests of equal time, we offer a new category for tracking these issues: "I'm Just a Girl."

Take this pink ribbon off my eyes
I'm exposed
And it's no big surprise
Don't you think I know
Exactly where I stand
This world is forcing me
To hold your hand
'Cause I'm just a girl, little ol' me
Don't let me out of your sight
I'm just a girl, all pretty and petite
So don't let me have any rights
Oh...I've had it up to here!

You go Gwen, and all the rest of you girls, too!