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July 29, 2004

Sex toys illegal

Alabama hates dildoes. And the 11th Circuit agrees. Says Law.com (link from Sully):

Americans do not have a fundamental right to sexual privacy, a 2-1 decision of the 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals said on Wednesday.

The split panel upheld an Alabama law -- nearly identical to one in Georgia -- that made the sale of sex toys a crime punishable by up to a year in prison.

This would be funny if it weren't so ridiculous. Please, somebody, show me the government that is SO successful at defending our borders, educating our children, healing the sick and feeding the hungry that it has time to legislate and deliberate about what products consenting adults should be allowed to put in various orifices! Hint: it bloody well is NOT Alabama, where a decent number of people still lack indoor plumbing.

If there was any true conservatism left in the "conservative" movement, they would take one look at this issue and go, "Oooh, don't go there!" But 25 years into the "Reagan revolution," there is apparently nowhere too private, too personal, or too petty for the government to try to insert its prying fingers. And yes, that's exactly the metaphor I wanted--it's almost as if the conservatives are after a government monopoly on the right to drive that dildo home. A vote for Bush is a vote to bend over for the Gross Old Proctologists! My fellow Americans, I say to you now, there is not enough lube in this great country of ours to make that prospect even remotely enjoyable.

Posted by jay at July 29, 2004 02:14 PM | TrackBack
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Comments

Alright, it is time for an airlift! Sex toy care packages for all of the repressed adults in Alabama and Georgia. Obviously, these people need a good screw. Maybe that will take their attention away from trying to screw everyone else.

Posted by: terry on July 29, 2004 05:50 PM

I can hardly believe The Law cares about what people are doing at home with some bits of plastic when no one's getting hurt or creating a tax burden, especially when they could, instead, be role playing with Grand Theft Auto. (Ah, I guess The Law somewhere cares about that, too.)

So it seems Alabama will restrict distribution of "any device designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs." Of course, this means some thought can be given to "repurposing" all sorts of objects. I wonder how the distribution portion will be defined... maybe the EFF can provide instructions for building one's own devices.

I wonder how many "adult" toy stores are in Missouri near the border with Alabama? Imagine the desire for these products due to their contraband status!

Posted by: Gary on July 29, 2004 06:20 PM

There is no ban on possession of such products. There is only a ban on the "sales" of these products .

Posted by: Raf on October 8, 2004 10:35 PM

The Southern states are so backwards... I think the politicians are afraid they'll get shown up by a vibrator.

Posted by: Jessica on October 24, 2004 06:25 PM
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