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July 19, 2004

The perils of semi-illiteracy

Could there be something worse than comment spammers? Indeed--teenage girls obsessed with dodgy punk bands from Florida.

A whole gaggle of them have been suffering for months now under the mistaken impression that
this post has something to do with this band. I wouldn't care, but these girls have the worst prose style since... maybe ever. And they just keep bringin' it.

I finally deleted all their comments (coming at the rate of one a day lately) in the hopes they would get the message. Fat chance. We just kept getting comments like this:

i luv them mikey is my favorite i fell in luv with him at beach fest toooo all the grls he is
mine an if u have any prombles oh well theres nothing i can do about the way i feel an my friend roza likes adam soooo he is also off limts.

Then today we got one that sounded like a not-so-veiled offer of groupie poontang in recompense for some contretemps:

squirrels gone wild we are sorry for all da things that happen on da 16th an i my self
am sorry an i was wonderin if i can make it up
too u guyz by hangin out with u when u do the next show.

I have it on good authority that "hanging out" means a lot more than in did back in the day.

So I finally changed the title of the post to "Fun with Squirrels" in hopes that the article will no longer be the #1 Google listing for the query. Ah, the perils of PageRank!

So, to put it in their terms: "if im bein rude 2 scrub yal off da site, thats 2 bad cuz this my blog, k and yal better stop wit da comments bout that stuipd band an if you got prombles with dat you got prombles wit me"

I'm glad we're all speaking the same language here!

Posted by jay at July 19, 2004 05:12 PM | TrackBack
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I'm the quiet squirrel.

Posted by: Gary on July 19, 2004 08:42 PM

You know, Gary. That's what we've always said about you...

Posted by: paulette on July 19, 2004 10:57 PM

"Semi-illiteracy": does this mean the brain is half empty rather than half full?

George was the quiet Beatle.

Posted by: Gary on July 20, 2004 03:16 PM
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