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June 25, 2004

Pressuring your wife into going to sex clubs just isn't cool

Looks like Illinois is about to get a great senator. Republican Jack Ryan has announced that he is dropping out after it was made public that he is a bit of a perv. This wouldn't delight me so much if his opponent State Sen. Barack Obama wasn't such a cool guy.

Posted by marti at June 25, 2004 12:43 PM | TrackBack
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Comments

Go Marti! Great post! I added a link to the New Yorker's great profile of Obama a few weeks back.

Posted by: jay on June 25, 2004 01:02 PM

I was so frustrated listening to Rewind on KUOW discussing this issue. The commentators, including the host, all seemed to accept Ryan's line that there was nothing illegal about going to sex clubs and that we should all be more open-minded about people's sexual kinks. Personally, I don't care about Ryan's sexual kinks, and if he and Jeri both were into it, who cares. But they seemed to dismiss as not worthy of discussion what is really the crux of the issue--that he tried to force her to do this against her will. So humiliating your wife, and dehumanizing her to get off more effectively, when she doesn't want to go along with it is just a sexual kink?

Posted by: paulette on June 26, 2004 11:32 AM

I agree with your frustration, but this weird dismissal of the importance of female consent is in play on both sides of the Culture Wars. Absolutely nobody on the right cared that Monica Lewinsky was a willing participant. You should write to Dan Savage about this... it would make a good column. Some of his best stuff is about the need to be open and honest about kinks, and how to explain them rationally to partners. He always counsels against trying to "trick" someone into taking part.

Posted by: jay on June 28, 2004 10:47 AM
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