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October 30, 2003

Phelps Clan: "Thank God for 9/11"

Our good friends at the NY Daily News have a sickening article titled Hate from the heartland about the self-parodying but still repugnant Fred Phelps. His merry band are (I think I have this right) protesting a Long Island high school where the football team was caught hazing freshmen players by jamming things up their bums. The culprit? Not the age-old, school-sponosored, parent-approved culture of jock sado-masochism. Noooo. Us-- The Gays. Controlling those hot, young Long Island gridiron studs by mind control rays, one imagines.

But the kicker is the photo. Three of Phelps' eight (!) kids holding signs reading: "God hates America," "God hates fag enablers," and astoundingly, "God blew up the shuttle."

Either these people are not Christians, or I'm not. Somebody get back to me on that before Sunday, OK?

It gets better. Apparently Mrs. Phelps is just a s nutters as her husband. Quoth she: "When you teach children that it's okay to indulge in any kind of sex act that they like ... that it's okay to be gay, it is inevitable that they will end up being violent and doing things that they shouldn't."

So I suppose she believes that suppressing homosexuality, stigmatizing it, forcing it into hiding-- is better, and would create less violence and trauma. Of course. That never hurt anyone, or caused gay kids to off themselves at three times the normal rate. But then, I'm sure she's all for gay kids offing themselves. The really good thing, though, would be just to kill us all so our evil Football Player Sodomy Mind Control Rays can't corrput the youth of America. Like, for instance, her poor children. Those poor little kids are clearly far beyond the help of any amount of therapy or deprogramming. Wouldn't you rather be one the bum-addled frosh on that team than one of those poor souls?

Too bad there is no picture of the sign reading "Thank God for Sept. 11th." I would hang that up somewhere so I could look at it any time I needed to get really, really angry.

And just for the record-- since we know some members of the Phelps clan sully our site with their crazy eyeballs-- I'll let you in on how I know The Gays aren't behind this. If we were, someone would have thought to show up with a digicam to bring us, for $19.95 a month. And the better our fine nation would be for that than a family that hands its kids signs like "God Blew Up the Shuttle." There's porn, and then there's real obscenity.

Posted by jay at October 30, 2003 05:02 PM | TrackBack
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