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September 04, 2003

Please may I never see these on the road!

Some numbnuts in Florida decided that his big 4x4 just wasn't enough overcompensation. So he invented Bumpernuts. Lord help us.

That's right. For just $24.95 you can have a realistic metal ballsac hanging from the bumper of your oversized gas guzzler. (Available in gold, silver, flesh, blue, black, and red.) Or, you know, pretty much any wheeled vehicle lying around the house.

I mean, I'm at least as big a fan of balls as the next person, but doesn't this just strike everyone as a) a bit crass and b) enticement for any thinking person to rear-end your car, just out of sheer decency? And wouldn't the fear of "automotive castration" be an added anxiety to anyone so in need of masculine reinforcement to put a pair of fake testicles on their bumper? What's next--hood dildos? Sheesh.

Posted by jay at September 4, 2003 01:11 PM | TrackBack
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